Blast Off


A rare blog post from yours truly. What the hell have I been up to? Four classes and working like mad. I am only going to take 2 classes this coming semester, because I need a break. I need my brain to be mine again. I also need to plan for my wedding. YUP! Well, when NJ legalized gay marriage, my forever love and I got married at Town Hall. It was thrown last minute and within the span of a week, but it came together beautifully. We were actually the first gay couple to be married in our town of Kearny! (I should totally edit my town’s wikipedia page to reflect that)

So like I said, we got married already, but we always meant to have our wedding-wedding at this campground upstate that we always go to and that Coleen has been going to since she was a little girl. (Coleen is my wife ya’ll). So I can’t be taking 4 classes and planning a wedding by August. Classes take up just about all of my brain space so that’s a no go. However, in there with the wedding planning, I would also like to blog again. Hopefully. I think we all know that I will cut to 6 months later with a new blog post saying, “hellooooo!! I swear I’m going to blog more again!!”

Anyway, our Town Hall wedding was crazy fun and I am so glad we did that. Everyone brought something to make the day festive and we were driven to Town Hall in a crazy old jalopy with cans tied to the back by Coleen’s Uncle Ken. Whenever he blew the horn it actually went “AAAAOOOOOGAAAAA!!!!”

Smiles, smiles, smiles….

So now its January of 2014 and I guess I should lay out what I want this year to look like. Here’s a list of wants/needs:

1. Get married (again) to my soul mate
2. Have FUN – go dancing, do more 5K’s, be a joiner.
3. Start UCB Advanced Study…I got accepted about a month ago after I completed UCB 401. I’m an official UCB graduate!
4. Get my UCB practice group to do an indie show…then maybe do some more….Hopefully try out for Harold night in the Spring.
5. Try out for the Willy Wonka play in my town. I wonder if they’d let me try out for Charlie? I wonder if I’d want to memorize that many lines…
6. Make professional moves.
7. Intern in archives at a museum starting end of January.
8. Join Toast Masters.
9. Volunteer for GLAAD again.
10. Draw cartoons again.
11. Read more books and less FB timeline.
12. Get better at writing jokes.

I’ll leave it at that for now. Oh, I also want to save money, but thus far no amount of Suze Orman books have ever been able to get me to do that successfully.

Here’s a pic of Coleen and I the day we got engaged. I proposed to her at the Eleanor Roosevelt house in Hyde Park, NY (how Sapphic right?? haha). Then she, in turn, proposed to me. We knew it was going to be that weekend, but we didn’t know exactly how or when. We had rings that Coleen’s mom had given us which used to be her Nana’s wedding rings. Her Nana is a super special person to us so it is a real honor to have her rings. I happened to grab them when we got out of the car just in case this felt like the right place and it totally did. ER’s house was so beautiful and serene and full of history. There was barely anyone there either, because it was a weekday and kind of off-season I think. What a great day ūüôā


This is the two of us on our wedding day. I think we are sitting in the jalopy.

Wedding In Car

This is upstate NY on our mini-Honeymoon. We stopped by the campsite where we plan to get married to snap a couple pics and envision how we wanted the future day to go. The rest of the weekend we went to Bethel, NY to the site of the original Woodstock and then to this super awesome gay-owned hotel called The Roxbury. Coleen surprised me with this hotel. I had never heard of it before and therefore had no idea what I was in for. It turned out to be such a cool place!!! We really felt like queens or glitzy celebs for a night.

Honeymoon Upstate

At The Roxbury, we stayed in the “I Dream of Genie” room. All the rooms are different themes. Like there is a Wizard of Oz room, an Addams Family room, a disco room, etc etc… Here’s a just couple pics of our room to give you an idea. I wish I had gotten a good picture of the bathroom, because the room itself was in the shape of a genie bottle. So it felt like you were actually INSIDE the bottle. Plus, there was a nice jacuzzi in there with a tv. All pink and sparkles and genie themed. So cool.

Here’s the living room and kitchen though:

roxbury1 roxbury2

I HIGHLY recommend this place. The staff was all super nice too. The owner even said Hi to us. Also we ate at Peekamoose, a restaurant not too far from there and that place was CRAZY DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, from time to time, I still think of the food there and salivate.

If you want to see the genie bottle bathroom, watch this video of it from the TLC Network. If you are impatient, fast forward to around 5:17

Thank you Coleen. I love you so much ūüôā


Do you want to watch something so cool you’ll die??? Do you love John Waters??? Do you miss hilarious movies like Serial Mom and Welcome to the Dollhouse?? Watch BHONER then!!! hurryyyyyyy

Past, Present, and Future

Past, Present, and Future

So here’s what’s been up with me, for the 1 or 2 people who clicked on this page by accident:

Coleen and I moved home from LA to NJ. Its been almost a year we’ve been home! Hard to believe! We had some hard times in LA and some great times. I thought I’d be more like regretful coming home, like wishing I did this or that, but really I am the happiest I have been in a while. LA was great though. My favorite part of the experience was that I gained a lot of perspective on life. I also feel better about myself. I feel accomplished and strong because I did something that scared me and I survived. I’m happy to be home because I missed my family far too much. I kept thinking about all the birthdays and holidays I was missing with my parents, niece and nephews, brother and sister, aunt and uncle, and all my other relatives plus Coleen’s family and our friends. I started to feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, getting to live this technicolor dream, but ready to go home where I could be all with my loved ones.

I got to do some cool things in LA, but my favorite accomplishment was starting classes at Upright Citizens Brigade. I have wanted to take classes since the early 2000’s when we used to go to see Amy Poehler, Matt Besser, and Ian Roberts do ASSSSCAT in NYC, but I always had an excuse why I couldn’t. Either no money or work got in the way. But in LA I was able to use some money I got for school and get involved. Plus being so anonymous in LA, I felt like it was safe to try and if I failed, well, no one would really be paying attention. But it turned out to be great! It was a ton of fun!! My classmates were always very awesome and supportive and interesting and creative. The teachers at UCB are super hilarious and exciting to learn from. I got to study under Julie Brister (AMAZING!!) and Jill Donnelly (AWESOME!!). Both graduation shows were terrifying, but I think they turned out great and even if that’s just my imagination, they were definitely, at the least, really fun to perform.

Then when I got back to NJ I was really panicked I would go back to finding excuses why I couldn’t do UCB. And it did take me a while to get back on my feet about it. I had to find and train for a new job and get our apartment in order. Then we wound up having to move again because our apartment was a shithole. So that was hella stressful. But finally a couple months ago I got back to UCB and enrolled in 301. I was so scared sitting there waiting for class to start on the first day that i actually almost started crying. I don’t know why I was so panicked. I guess because I didn’t have my old LA class friends there and I figured everyone probably knew each other already and would be crazy awesome and I would be terrible. However, our teacher got us up and playing games and then all the fear and self-doubt started to melt away and I found myself just having fun again.

Now I have graduated 301 and hopefully I can take 401 by summer’s end. Also I was one of many lucky people to receive the diversity scholarship which means I have a credit for one free class, which is damn awesome and helpful to my thin wallet!

If you are BORED, you can watch my 101 and 201 grad shows here (as well as some choppy video of my cat as a wee kitten)

ykristyn’s channel

My other comedy goal is to do stand up. I don’t know if I’m cut out for it, but I bought Greg Dean’s “Guide to Stand Up Comedy” book and I’m seeing what I can do with that. I would take a proper class, but I think I already mentioned my thin wallet.

In other news, I got an awesome book called The Riot Grrrl Collection in the mail. I bought it early so I it came signed by the author Lisa Darms as well as MOTHERTRUCKIN Kathleen Hanna, and the outstanding Johanna Fateman. So cool. Riot grrrl and bands like Bratmobile, Sleater-Kinney, and Bikini Kill saved my life in high school as a young gay gal so I am geeking out over this. I started reading the book over the weekend. Its a collection of zines, lyrics, and whatnot from the riot grrrls and reading it is like going back in time to my headspace as a teenager. It’s also really inspiring me to get back in touch with my creative side. Before moving to LA, Coleen and i were doing a lot of our own projects like blogging, drawing, writing, crafting, etc…and the stress and aspirations of LA kind of forced all that out the window. Now that we are back home, we both want to rekindle that spirit. For me, it means getting back into blogging and drawing comics. I had originally intended to even write a graphic novel. I still would love to realize that goal. For now, I’ll probably just do some short little strips like I had started doing 4 years ago before the move. You can find them on here if you feel like taking a looksee.

So yeah, that’s whats going on in my noodle.

Happy Ten Year Anniversary Coleen!!

So Coleen, being a person who blogs way more often than I do, totally wrote a happy anniversary blog before I got to.¬† I had uploaded the pictures that I wanted like on Friday, but because of work and whatnot, had not gotten to write anything about them.¬† Then come Saturday, Coleen’s all with the 2000 happy anniversary posts! The nerve!!¬† ;^.)¬†¬†

(totally, totally kidding!!)

In all seriousness, thank you Coleen!!! I LOVED the posts!!!  The pictures!! And the songs!!! And you!!! I think we have the best life soundtrack ever!!!

Here’s my favorite pictures of us.¬† Of course, some of these pictures are totally the same as yours, but ya know, great minds think alike!

Here’s us down in Seaside (AKA The Jersey Shore) for my 20th birthday.¬† We went down there in the dead of winter, with everything covered in snow and all the guidos hibernating up north, and rented a hotel room with a bunch of our friends to party!¬† It was one of the craziest nights of my life.

This is the two¬†of us in Epcot watching¬†GOOD DAY NY being filmed.¬†¬†They had the¬†members of The Fifth¬†Dimension on (they sang that song “Age of Aquarius” in the 70’s)¬†and the lead singer¬†Florence LaRue totally¬†borrowed Coleen’s pink¬†leopard¬†print Mickey Mouse ears to do her segment.¬† It was awesome!¬†

That’s Coleen, Amanda, Tiffany, and me!!¬† Yes, The Tiffany¬†of¬† “I Think We’re Alone Now” fame.¬† SO HONORED!!!!!¬† We met her at The Culture Club in the city.¬† Which is a really fun club that plays 80’s music only.¬† What’s more, is you tend to get hit on there by really geeky guys.¬† Which¬†means, as a girl,¬†you get bought a lot of free beer.¬† BUT you have to excuse yourself to go hide in the bathroom a lot.¬† Double-edged sword, but oh so awesome!!!

This one is me and Coleen riding through the dirrrty south in our rented convertable!! (How we got our filthy hands on a convertable,¬†I’ll never know).¬† We were headed to Graceland coming from old Miss and New Orleans.¬† What a crazy time that was, omg… my memories include bikers, street urchins, psychics, crocodile mating calls, hookers with sharp¬†teeth, and pitchers of beer that only cost a penny!!

Here we are in Graceland at the HeartBreak Hotel.¬† Some how we managed to arrive there exactly on Elvis’ birthday!¬† So there was some hot shot impersonator there signing autographs and taking pictures.¬† We didn’t realize we had totally bypassed a line of now-pissed-at-us¬†middle aged southern¬†women for a picture with faux-Elvis.¬† It was only after our eyes unglazed from his pleather¬†shininess that we realized there was a queue full of dagger eyes!¬† We beat it outta there fast…We’ve seen what kinda damage riled up middle-aged women can do when they got their dander up! We been to a Rod Stewart concert!

This was in the city for St Patty’s Day.¬† I don’t know about other states, but in NYC/NJ you are expected to do St Patty’s day up right.¬† That means starting drinking at 7am and taking¬†obscene amounts of liquor on the PATH train¬†so you can be completely sloshed for the NYC parade at 11am!¬† Of course, a hundred of us went, took the PATH, got to the city and ALL HUNDRED of us had to pee, along with every other reveler in town, so I think we waited on line at the Manhattan Mall for like 3 hours, missed the entire parade, and went to this bar instead:

Here’s me and Coleen at our, like, 20th annual summer Poison concert!!!¬†Don’t need nothin but a good time!!!! Right Sam and Frank??

Coleen and her old cat Mitten.  They were such a cute pair!!

This is the two of us meeting Janet Weiss, the drummer,¬†from my favorite band of all time¬†Sleater-Kinney. Unfortunately, we managed to piss her off.¬† We couldn’t figured out how to stand for the picture and kept wheeling around until we sensed a murderous rage from her and then we just cut the shit and posed.¬†

Notice Coleen’s studious¬†piece of literature she’s got there…

So those are most of my favorite pictures.¬† I know there’s more, (and more recent ones),¬†but I’d have to scour flickr for them.¬† Which maybe I’ll do sometime soon.¬† But for now, those are some of my fondest pictures of the two of us.¬† I’m sure the next ten years will produce some more craziness to capture on film!!¬†

Thank you Coleen for the best years of my life!!!  I love you!!!

To end, here’s my favorite song that makes me think of Coleen…It reminds me of back in the day when we would do the goth dance at Aldo’s and smile at each other :^.)

Old School Pic Du Jour

This is a picture of me I think¬†around the year¬†2000.¬† My two friends Bernice and Stacey had decided to amuse themselves by dressing me up as a rather weird white trash guy.¬† The charming goatee I’m sporting was hair cut from one of Stacey’s wigs and held on by eyelash glue¬†(she had a few different wigs she¬†wore when she would go driving around town at night¬†doing¬†what she obscurely liked to call¬†“spy patrol”).¬†

For their own gleeful amusement, the two of them forced me to go into various blue collar dive bars around town and ask for a can of coke (I wasn’t yet 21).¬† To which I said, “Oh, alright”.¬†

It was weird.¬† I got a lot of looks.¬† I also got a couple glasses of coke though.¬† After like 2 bars, I told them I couldn’t do it anymore. I was done with the whole charade.¬† They took it well.¬† I think after that, they dropped me off at home.¬†

And that, my friends, is the old school pic of the day.

Represent the Jersey Shore!!

Lately, Coleen’s been posting her memories of the Jersey Shore (as inspired by that Emmy worthy MTV show) on her blog. She’s been having so much fun that I figure I should post some of mine too.

One of my favorite memories of Seaside has to be that quintessential north jersey rite of passage spent there: Senior Prom weekend. For me, this was back in 1998. My friends and I rented 2 floors of a house near the boardwalk for a full week (cos why stop at just the weekend?!).

I brought my camera and took a few pictures upon our arrival. After that, I remember “jungle juice” was made and no more pictures were taken, because I’m pretty sure once jungle juice happened I couldnt have operated a camera or probably even explained what a camera was. And if you dont know what jungle juice is, well its like a vat of every liquor you have available (so, in our case,¬†like 10 diff liquors) plus a little bit of koolaide, stirred with fruity ice pops or something, and maybe you throw in an old shoe and¬†a slab of chopped meat¬†for flavor.

This is us, peaceful, cos we just arrived and havent made the jungle juice yet

So, lemme see if I can remember what happened thru that fog. My first memory post jungle juice is chasing people around with super soaker water guns. And for some odd reason, I followed my friend’s sister into a running shower to hide. Perhaps not the smartest thing to do if you are trying to keep dry. Next I remember 3 or 4 of my friends pinning me to a bed and forcibly changing me out of my wet clothes. I felt like a colicky baby getting their diaper changed, I was totally fighting them on it, but I gotta say thanks, cos after all it was nice¬†to get out of those wet clothes.

Ok, I’m sorta blanking out on the rest of that first day. I remember walking the boardwalk a lot. The MTV beach house was there that year. Our house was located on the far end of the boardwalk to the right if you are looking at the ocean and MTV was aaaaall the way on the left end. We would watch like Yo Mtv Raps and get all excited and bottle up some liquor and make plans to walk to the beach house to go¬†meet Ed Lover. Except every time we’d get about half way there and everyone would get distracted by boys or rides or parties and forget what the mission was and we’d never actually get there.

Back at our house was always insanity. By now the original group had multiplied to like a hundred people. It was pandemonium. And downstairs was a family sleeping below us. A mom, dad, baby, and little girl. They were not at all happy with us being there. They had this like inflatable pool out back and every morning the little girl would go and rub herself on it. It was really yucky and awkward.

the downstairs tenants

My favorite night was the night those tenants went to war with us and we got kicked out.¬† I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was one of our guy friends drunkenly¬†scaling up¬†the side of the house.¬† They called the cops on him and he got unruly and actually tried to punch one of the cops.¬† He missed though and actually hit this girl that was¬†with us¬†instead.¬† So I think the landlord must’ve showed up too and that was that.¬† We were being forcibly evicted.¬†

I had no idea this was going on though cos I was at the boardwalk.¬† Flashback a few hours before the scuffle with the cops, I”m wasted and stumbling around on the boardwalk when I come across this pigeon.¬† I decided to pick her up and put her on my shoulder.¬† I named her Bernadette and we became really good friends. She sat there¬†on my shoulder and went with me everywhere!¬†

I remember going into what was probably The Shore Store with my friend Nicole¬†(where they work on “Jersey Shore”) and I started talking to this girl.¬† She was out of her mind, definitely on some sort of illicit substance.¬† She invited me to a “spin party at 211 Hancock St”¬†and told me that “her man” could get me some good stuff…”you’ll see things like you never seen before…get higher than you’ve ever been…it’ll be aaaamaazing….”¬† She sounded straight out of one of those ABC afterschool specials they used to have on back in the day.¬† I was like, “uhh, nooo, thats okay thanks.”¬† I asked her what her name was and she paused and told me “LuLu”.¬† I totally didnt believe her, but for some reason felt compelled to give her a quarter in a gesture of good will.¬† I told her it was a good luck quarter.¬† So she gave me her change purse in exchange.¬† Which was awesome cos when she walked away I realized there was $.35 cents in it, so I totally made my money back PLUS a dime!

LuLu's change purse! I still have it to this day!

Then my concience got the better of me and I told Nicole that we had to find LuLu and give her the change purse back cos I felt bad ripping off her dime. So off we went in search of 211 Hancock St.  We walked up and down that boardwalk like 19 times.  We kept asking people for directions, but I think people saw how drunk we were and just told us like random directions to screw with us.  We actually did eventually find 211 Hancock, but when I knocked on the door the guy who answered had no clue what I was talking about of course.

Sooo we make our way back to the house.  But first we stopped at a photo booth:

Me, Nicole, and Bernadette

When we got back to the house, everyone starts shouting at us that we had to pack our things and get out.¬† That we were being evicted. I remember handing Bernadette over to a friend and trying to pack my stuff.¬† Then I think I got bored and Nicole was like, “lets blow this popcicle stand” so we just up and left.¬† We knew that my other friends were staying at a hotel down at the faaaar far end (even passed the MTV beach house) so we figured we’d make the trek there hoping for more alcohol and good times.¬†

On the way there, these random¬†girls pull over and start talking to us so we hop in the car with them.¬† I ask them if they could drive us to our friends’ hotel.¬† So they are all, “sure!”¬† and kindly take us all the way there.¬† Not bad!¬† They dropped us off and we hopped out of the car and waved goodbye.¬† I remember them looking at me funny and now that I’m writing this, I realize they probably were hoping we’d lead them to a party and instead we were just like, ok, thanks for the ride, buh-bye now!¬†

Now at my friends’ hotel, there were really strange things going on.¬†All I know is one of my girl¬†friends answered the door stark naked.¬† She was all glassy eyed and I started feeling like I entered into a 1970’s homemade porno movie¬†when my other friend’s boyfriend also came to the door naked.¬† He started yelling at me that I was a pervert.¬† He accused me of¬†knocking on the door so I could get a free peep show.¬† I was like “whaaa?? I’m just looking for my other friend!¬† What do I care about seeing you fools naked??” But he was all stoned and paranoid and kept yelling at me.¬† Apparently a whole naked group of them were in there smoking up and being strange.¬† So I just slowly backed away from him and went¬†next door where I¬†finally find the other friends I was looking for.¬† …And they were fully clothed thankfully.¬†

Me at the shore house
Mina taking a picture of me taking a picture of her taking a picture of me...
My boyfriend at the time, though I kept ditching him for a girl i liked, hah

That weekend was so nuts.¬† It’s too bad we got kicked out by Sunday night, but with the crew I was rolling with it really was inevitable.¬† Aside from the¬†odyssey of LuLu, I remember getting fake married on a balcony to one of my¬†best friends, doing cartwheels on the beach at night, crying, coming out to some of my friends, and riding the Poltergeist!¬† Do you remember The Poltergeist??¬† It was my favorite ride !!¬† It was an indoor scrambler, all dark inside,¬†with fog and strobe lights and they’d blast heavy metal music like old Metallica and Pantera.¬† I tried to¬†look it up online, but apparently they have changed the name to “The Centrifuge” (…how lame is that?) and I can’t find a decent picture.¬† Best ride ever though, seriously!

I miss Seaside now.¬† I hear there’s not much in the way of boardwalks in the LA area.¬† I think Santa Anna has one and of course there’s Venice Beach, but somehow I dont think its going to have that same strange charm and that beloved¬†odor of giant slices of pizza, zeppoles,¬†and cheese steaks. Oh, Sleazeside! How I love thee!!

The common cycle of activity at Seaside: