The nineties

So let’s continue with my little indulgant walk down memory lane!  Where did I leave off?  Oh yeah, bad hair do’s and bed wetting…in 1991, I think I stopped wetting the bed, but I did laugh so hard I peed a little bit on a friend’s couch once.  Behold:

You can tell I know I made a mistake cause everyone else is smiling, but me

 Umm, okay, so that picture was actually taken in 1995…not 91…so I was even older when I had that little indescrepancy….but in my defense, I drank a lot of hot tea then and had not yet gained skills from those future years of drinking to tighten up my bladder holding.

Ok, so for reals, this is actually 1991:

I had mixed fashion sense in '91

This is me in 1992.  I was like really into softball.  Lets refrain from the obvious gay lady jokes shall we?
This was back when I played softball.  I actually made "all stars" and hit home runs. I was a jock.

In 1993, I went to Aruba:

I remember those birds were really heavy.  And I wish they had given me an eye patch to wear.

Here I am doing a front flip at the Franklin School gym.  That was pretty awesome. I wish I had a way to do that now, but I’m too old for junior high and I might be feeling the beginnings of osteoporosis.

1994 Franklin School gymnastics show

Here I am in 1995.  It was Halloween and I was dressed as a zombie.  What’s probably scarier though is the interior design theme going on in my bedroom. 

Here’s the best picture I could find of myself from 1996:

Me in 1996.
Remember those metal bead necklaces? I’m pretty sure I’m wearing one in that picture.  And probably my “Blur” shirt.  I loved me some britpop in the 90’s.

I think this following picture was taken the first day of junior year. 

1997″ Me and my friend Mina on the steps of KHS.

1998: I got myself an eyebrow ring.  My dad almost wouldnt let me cause he was convinced my teachers and the community at large would think I was a devil worshipper or drug fiend.  So we compromised and it was decided I could get one once I graduated.  And just so my dad knows, to this day I hate Anton LeVay’s Satanic Bible.  Frankly, its really ridiculous and grandiose. So not to worry, Pops!! And I’ve never become a drug fiend either!  Woohoo!

1998 I graduated this year and I think I’m at a party for that event or something…

This was around when I first became friends with Coleen.  Nicole and I were hanging out all the time and she was friends with Coleen so we crossed paths that way.  Samuella Blackheart (the real Samantha Fox!) is also in this picture and she is still a dear friend! She just had her first baby!  Craziness!

1999 Anthony's studio!
I dont know what was happening here, but I think it might be vogueing….(Left to Right: Nicole, moi, Amanda, Slam)
1999 still at Anthony’s studio! I think we lived there for who knows how long.
1999 at my other hangout. The Terrace Taverne. What a dump!

The Terrace Taverne burned down at some point.  Thank god.  That place was hell on earth.  Like I had fun sometimes, but I always felt like I should leave there and go buy 10 thousand scratch-offs at the local deli. Then go home, change into a dirty wifebeater and put on Cinemax (or ESPN) and drink some Schlitz until I fall asleep in my dirty armchair while my dog farts at my feet.  

But anyway, I wanted to get in a picture of Bernice and Char -Len cause we had a lot of fun in the nineties.  We caused a lot of foolishness and mayhem together.  Between running with that crew and also Coleen & company, the general public was not safe from our retardedness!  But those are probably stories for another blog or just stuff I should probably keep to myself, so I’m gonna hit the hay now.  Tomorrow I”ll finish the countdown with the 2000’s.  Y2K and beyond!!!

The Mystery of Who Wiped their Ass on the Towels

Remember how I posted that I thought I lost that cat?? Well, I found the cat! I had my last visit for this client today and while I was pouring their food I heard the cat moving around and low and behold she was on the counter next to me! Thank freakin god!!

I tried to pet her as thanks for showin her face, but she ran like hell to get away from me and went right back under the bed. I bent down to see her and she totally hissed in my face, but that’s okay.

Anyway, Coleen had an interview today with a temp agency. Good for her!

I hope she can start her internship soon! I am sooooo proud of her for interviewing for it! I just think she’s going to do great and she totally deserves it!

OH! and we met David Sedaris the other night!!! Whatt??!! We bought tickets to see him do a reading, back a few months ago, before we moved out here. So we finally got to go last Tuesday night. We were late, of course, cos we didnt realize just how far away it was. (It was in Irvine, about an hour + from LA). We were expecting the ushers to be really rude and cross with us, like they normally are back east, but they were sooooo nice!! The usher lady even took a second to reassure us that we didnt miss too much and that the bathrooms were right down the hall if we had anxiety from trying to rush to get there on time, hahah….

So we watched his reading and it was very funny and entertaining. Then after, they announced that he would be doing a signing in the lobby! We thoughtfully remembered to bring books of ours for him to sign and as good measure we bought two books while there.

On our road trip cross country, we listened to his audiobook version of “Naked” twice. (Thanks to our good friends Lori and Billy who had bought it for us as a going away present). So we listened to this one chapter where he talks about the time when someone in his family was using everyones’ bath towels instead of the toilet paper to wipe their ass. So like, he, or another member of his family, would step out of the shower all fresh and clean and start toweling off when they would be met with a super unpleasant surprise odor and disgusting substance on some part of the towel. The story goes on to describe the suspects in his family (he has 3 sisters, mom, dad, grandma, and 1 brother), but he never actually comes out and says who dunnit.

Coleen and I, from scrutinizing the text, had come to the conclusion that it must be Amy Sedaris (star of the old ultra-twisted, hilarious, Comedy Central show “Strangers with Candy”). Cause I mean, if you know who she is, you’d know why we would immediately suspect her.

So while on line to meet David Sedaris, I decided I was going to ask him who it was. I was soooo nervous to ask, but I figured, this would be our only chance to find out from the source!

So we finally get up to the front of the line to meet him and he’s so polite and so cute! He starts asking us how we met and this and that. And then asks us how old we both are. To which we responded with our ages and then a “why do you ask?”

He was like, “Um, nooo nevermind, its nothing”

Coleen: “No, no, tell us. What is it?”

David Sedaris: “Well, you see, this guy gave me a joint earlier and I don’t smoke and I wanted to give it to someone who might appreciate it. Do either of you smoke pot?”

Us: “No, we have but that was a long, long time ago, hahah…”

David Sedaris: “Yeah, me too. I quit when I stopped drinking. I just have it here in my pocket and I just thought it might make someone’s day if I gave it to them. Like maybe they were looking for some all day and gave up and then here it is!”

So yeah, David Sedaris offered us weed! Crazy huh? Then he started asking us how we liked it here cos we told him we were from NJ and whatever. So he was almost done signing our books when I figured if I didnt ask now it would be too late.

So I said, “Um, this might be a rude question, but we were listening to “Naked” and that chapter about someone in your family using your towels as toilet paper and so we were wondering who…”

David Sedaris: “My Grandma.”

I died! After that I have no idea what happened cause I had my answer and I was totally giddy. He gave us our books back and thanked us and we got to shake his hand! It was awesome. We left the place practically skipping and drove across the street to In and Out Burger to celebrate. I totally burst into tears in the car. I think I had just gotten so nervous to meet him. I mean, he’s just such a good author. I never get like that when I meet celebs, but meeting him was just so cool. The only other time I think I went loopy after meeting a celebrity was meeting Sleater-Kinney.

So yeah, thats what we’ve been up to lately. I’ll check back in again soon. I’m trying to get better at writing here more often. I better go see what Coleen is doing. She’s watching “Cake Boss” on mute and is sucked into her iphone. Lemme look over her shoulder…Oh no, its worse than I thought…she is reading through all of John Mayer’s tweets on twitter…crap, i better go and save her from herself….

Oh and here’s pictures of David Sedaris’ signatures in our books:

David Sedaris' Signature

David Sedaris' Signature
I love him!!

David Sedaris