Got homework, got improv, archival research, new job,
Three classes, paper due, thanks Coleen, for the flu.Golden Girls, DayQuil sold, sore throat, my tea is cold! Fever sweats, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz! Hypodermics on the shores, cats keep puking on our floors, Rock and Roller Cola wars, I can’t take it anymore!
“There’s nothing like humor to burst what seems to be an enormous problem. Humor reduces it to nothing and wipes it out. That’s what humor does. That was a great part of [All in the Family] in terms of every issue, but especially bigotry. And you know you make fun of something, it reduces it to nothing.” -Jean Stapleton
The other day my wife and I went to the local deli and could not figure out which wine to get. I wanted the one that says, “girl’s night out,” even though we were going straight home to put on our pajamas. My argument for choosing this wine was that we were also going to dance in the living room to a very upbeat Amazon playlist. So that’s kind of like being at a raging bachelorette party, but better because our cats get to be there with us and no one else.
My wife, on the other hand, wanted one that just said, “high heeled shoe.” Surprisingly, we couldn’t find any like that. Just a lot of wines that said, “cupcake.” But I feel like cupcakes are passé. It used to be cupcakes, then fro-yo, and now it’s cute jewelry with foxes on it. So if we got the cupcake wine, we might as well go back to wearing bell bottoms.
In the end, we wound up getting Barefoot wine, even though I hate feet. As we were paying for it, I tried to quickly google whether it had dangerous levels of arsenic in it. But the cashier moved faster than my research did, so I figured we had no other choice but to risk drinking it.
I never realized what a sausage fest Groundhogs Day is. Yet another glass ceiling we have to break through.
It’s no longer cool to talk about New Years.
We need to stop merely accepting things as they are and start demanding bigger glasses for our orange juice.