For those of you who know what the drama is thats going on concerning me, Coleen, and a scumbag, I’m going to spare you any reiteration. If you dont know and you want to be caught up, you can check out www.buberella.wordpress.com for the full skinny….
Anyway, so first off, I posted Sleazy E’s email to us on Coleen’s blog, and here it is again…(I had to cut some of it out because he goes on to try and implicate someone who was totally innocent and who told us about him stealing it in the first place)
In an email to us yesterday, he says,:
well, i believe this is concerning the mermaid figure that i had taken. I for one had thought, since you guys were giving your stuff away or donating it cause you couldn’t pack anymore things for the journey to your new place, that i would take it …. I am sorry for thinking that that was the situation at your home that night. since i had been hearing that you guys were a. selling things. than b. giving things away ..i thought it would be fine.
SO YOU STUFF IT DOWN YOUR PANTS AND DONT SAY ANYTHING?? Here’s a survey question, if your good friends were moving 3,000 miles away, had a goodbye party and said we are giving stuff away, would you:
a) walk around and if you saw something you wanted ask your friends if you could have it?
b) wait until your friends pointed out the areas of the apartment that had stuff to be taken and then take something from there and show what you have before you just claim it as your definite bounty?
OR
c) find something thats all by itself on the stove, in a room that had nothing else we were getting rid of, and stuff it down your pants?
BUT THE BEST was our friend Berenice’s reaction (who also has known the douchebag for 10+ years and has been there, front and center, for many of the shit he has pulled and knows what kind of person he is and is an out and proud Erik hater). PRICELESS:
Omgosh, he fucking emailed you! He emailed you and got fucking snooty, like how dare you be fucking mad that he stole something of yours. Like you silly little girl, you asked for it. The email needs to be rewritten:
Dear Kristyn (Bitch),
Why are you talking smack about me cause I took a mermaid. It isn’t even that cool, I took it cause I wanted it at the time. I still would have taken it even if you didn’t want to give it to me. So stop going on about it not being up for grabs, look who you are talking to. Listen here lil lady, in this world, my world I get what I want, cigs, food, alcohol, hell even your girl. You will just have to live with it. I can’t believe you are telling people I am a thief just because I stole from you sheesh. Now I have to take time out from being worshiped to tell people what a sensitive baby you are. I am going to have to muster up some fake sincerity and convince people you and Coleen are again blowing things out of proportion and that she is in fact Satan, and you created the swine flu. I am so cool, my glasses will never fall off of my big nose. I got to go now, there is a party I am not invited to but there is this nice vintage book I have had my eye on for a while, that and men’s balls. Supress you laters, ho’s.
Halloween may be over, but that doesn’t mean the screams have to end!
Go to HandsomeZombies.com to check out the first episode of this gruesome and clever web series!!
Remember how I posted that I thought I lost that cat?? Well, I found the cat! I had my last visit for this client today and while I was pouring their food I heard the cat moving around and low and behold she was on the counter next to me! Thank freakin god!!
I tried to pet her as thanks for showin her face, but she ran like hell to get away from me and went right back under the bed. I bent down to see her and she totally hissed in my face, but that’s okay.
Work is still going as usual at the hospital. The crazy lady was sick the other night, so when she came in, she just layed down and went to sleep in one of the offices. She told me she has IBS, so I guess it took its toll. She actually yelled at me the other night for not caring about her IBS. She was telling me and a few others about being sedated for a colonoscopy and honestly, I zoned out for a minute to listen to a receptionist talking about a client. (I wasn’t sure if said receptionist needed help). Next thing I knew, Captain Crazy snaps me out of it by yelling, “What??!!?? YOU DONT CARE??”
To which I just blankly stared at her and kinda mumbled, “I guess…”
Then last night she stole my can of cream soda. I normally leave it in the kitchen, instead of the treatment area, so that dog poop or whatever doesnt get in it. She took it out of the kitchen and held it up accusingly in front of everyone and shouted, “Who’s Root Beer Is This??”
Me: “Um, mine.”
Crazy Lady: “Well, Ok. I just wanted to make a mention that you should find a way to put your name on it. This way everyone knows it is yours.”
Me: “Yeah, ok.”
Crazy Lady: “Huh, Although! I took your soda out of the kitchen, so I guess, in reality, its really, None of My Damned Business! I will return it!”
I waited a few minutes and then I went in the kitchen and poured the rest of my soda out and threw it away. (Just in case)
This lady is just so crazy. She’s like Dwight on The Office. Like she says everything really officially. And she just says everything really bluntly. Yeah, I think Dwight is a pretty fair comparison.
Anyway, moving on…Coleen had an interview today with a temp agency. Good for her! We don’t know if they will be good or not, but ya know, its worth a shot.
I hope she can start her internship soon! I am sooooo proud of her for interviewing for it! I just think she’s going to do great and she totally deserves it!
OH! and we met David Sedaris the other night!!! Whatt??!! We bought tickets to see him do a reading, back a few months ago, before we moved out here. So we finally got to go last Tuesday night. We were late, of course, cos we didnt realize just how far away it was. (It was in Irvine, about an hour + from LA). We were expecting the ushers to be really rude and cross with us, like they normally are back east, but they were sooooo nice!! The usher lady even took a second to reassure us that we didnt miss too much and that the bathrooms were right down the hall if we had anxiety from trying to rush to get there on time, hahah….
So we watched his reading and it was very funny and entertaining. Then after, they announced that he would be doing a signing in the lobby! We thoughtfully remembered to bring books of ours for him to sign and as good measure we bought two books while there.
On our road trip cross country, we listened to his audiobook version of “Naked” twice. (Thanks to our good friends Lori and Billy who had bought it for us as a going away present). So we listened to this one chapter where he talks about the time when someone in his family was using everyones’ bath towels instead of the toilet paper to wipe their ass. So like, he, or another member of his family, would step out of the shower all fresh and clean and start toweling off when they would be met with a super unpleasant surprise odor and disgusting substance on some part of the towel. The story goes on to describe the suspects in his family (he has 3 sisters, mom, dad, grandma, and 1 brother), but he never actually comes out and says who dunnit.
Coleen and I, from scrutinizing the text, had come to the conclusion that it must be Amy Sedaris (star of the old ultra-twisted, hilarious, Comedy Central show “Strangers with Candy”). Cause I mean, if you know who she is, you’d know why we would immediately suspect her.
So while on line to meet David Sedaris, I decided I was going to ask him who it was. I was soooo nervous to ask, but I figured, this would be our only chance to find out from the source!
So we finally get up to the front of the line to meet him and he’s so polite and so cute! He starts asking us how we met and this and that. And then asks us how old we both are. To which we responded with our ages and then a “why do you ask?”
He was like, “Um, nooo nevermind, its nothing”
Coleen: “No, no, tell us. What is it?”
David Sedaris: “Well, you see, this guy gave me a joint earlier and I don’t smoke and I wanted to give it to someone who might appreciate it. Do either of you smoke pot?”
Us: “No, we have but that was a long, long time ago, hahah…”
David Sedaris: “Yeah, me too. I quit when I stopped drinking. I just have it here in my pocket and I just thought it might make someone’s day if I gave it to them. Like maybe they were looking for some all day and gave up and then here it is!”
So yeah, David Sedaris offered us weed! Crazy huh? Then he started asking us how we liked it here cos we told him we were from NJ and whatever. So he was almost done signing our books when I figured if I didnt ask now it would be too late.
So I said, “Um, this might be a rude question, but we were listening to “Naked” and that chapter about someone in your family using your towels as toilet paper and so we were wondering who…”
David Sedaris: “My Grandma.”
I died! After that I have no idea what happened cause I had my answer and I was totally giddy. He gave us our books back and thanked us and we got to shake his hand! It was awesome. We left the place practically skipping and drove across the street to In and Out Burger to celebrate. I totally burst into tears in the car. I think I had just gotten so nervous to meet him. I mean, he’s just such a good author. I never get like that when I meet celebs, but meeting him was just so cool. The only other time I think I went loopy after meeting a celebrity was meeting Sleater-Kinney.
So yeah, thats what we’ve been up to lately. I’ll check back in again soon. I’m trying to get better at writing here more often. I better go see what Coleen is doing. She’s watching “Cake Boss” on mute and is sucked into her iphone. Lemme look over her shoulder…Oh no, its worse than I thought…she is reading through all of John Mayer’s tweets on twitter…crap, i better go and save her from herself….
Oh and here’s pictures of David Sedaris’ signatures in our books:
I love him!!
On Monday night, Coleen and I went to go see The Gossip play at the Henry Fonda Theater on Hollywood Blvd. The show was awesome! The only downside was that Beth Ditto was recovering from a cold so she wasn’t able to hit all her usual thrilling notes. She made up for it by getting the audience to sing parts of songs instead and that was actually really fun.
It was also a really weird crowd. A lot of older people (like in their late 30’s, and 40’s) which is cool, but I think made the audience less crazy dancey. It also seemed like people were mostly fans of the new album and didnt know their old stuff. Which made the experience feel sort of alien. Like usually everyone is so passionate and its about the movement and solidarity and it is just so electric, but the audience felt like they were just there to sway a bit and hear the dancey hits. I don’t know if it was different cause they are so big now, or if the NYC crowds just are usually more long-time fans.
Then there was the fights. Two major fist fights broke out on either side of us. Both of them were cat fights I think. It was hard to see the one on the left of us, but drink cups were thrown and one hit this girl next to us right on the noggin. She was blind drunk though so I doubt it affected her that much. Plus, about a 1/2 hour later she was throwing punches with some other lady. One girl, who totally rudely cut us to get to the front, got a black eye in the melee’. To which I say, that’s karma for you girlfriend!
JD Sampson’s new band MEN opened. They were really good. One day when I have money again, I’m going to have to download their album on iTunes. Before MEN, this LA based band called “We are the World” were first up. They were very different and really cool to watch. They were disguised in these sort of sexless outfits with black stocking face masks which they never took off and they had all these coordinated dances which were kinda like something you’d see in Vegas. Really theatrical and entertaining. I would go see them again.
I think Beth Ditto may have recognized us in the audience too. We were right up front as usual and if you don’t already know we have gone to like a zillion of their shows in NYC, and even in Washington DC, Philly, and Baltimore and danced along with them at the Beauty Bar after parties they go to in NYC. So its not out of the realm of possibility that she did. If so, she was probably totally confused being that now we are in LA and so she most likely thinks that we are nuts and traveled 3,000 miles this time to see them!
After the show we tried to figure out where there would be the usual Gossip after party. Like I said, back home we are used to going to the Beauty Bar after for more dancing. We drove around for like ever brainstorming and then I realized that LA is not NYC and the bars close at 2am instead of like 12noon the next day! It finally occured to me when I remembered they had announced on their website that they were having a “pre-show party” at some bar. I was wondering why the hell they would have a pre-show party and then it dawned on me….ohhh yeah, this is Los Angeles and everything’s closed…duh.
Anyway, here’s a clip from YouTube from the end of the show when they invited JD Sampson on stage with them….We were standing close to the stage in front of JD, but I dont think you can see us at all in the video.
So today was just the most retardedly horrible day I have had in a while.
This morning I had to go take care of these 2 cats I’ve been pet sitting for all week. Every single time I go there, both of the cats are hiding under the bed. Today, only one cat was under there. So I start frantically searching the apartment for the other cat. To my dismay, I notice that one of the windows was unlatched and the screen in it easily pushes outward to the street! So now I’m in a full fledge panic that the cat may have gotten outside. Great. I call the company I work for and they call the owner, but no answer. I mean, the cats are shy so maybe she just found a new hiding spot, but I looked all over and I feel like I left no stone unturned. They did seem to eat and drink like there was 2 cats there, so maybe she’s there somewhere. Hopefully.
So I got stuck there late and subsequently got to my other job late. My supervisor was totally disgusted with me. I was late yesterday too and I could just tell that she now thinks I’m the scum of the earth. Lovely.
Oh, just to pause for a second, I just tried a sip of Coleen’s Boddington’s pub ale and it was quite delightful. It’s been best described as a “vanilla guinness” and I do agree. Yum…
So anyway, back to why my day was hell. There’s a lady at my job who’s, basically, in a word…bananas. I mean, I get a kick out of her cause crazy people are entertaining to me. I know they annoy most people or put people off, but I just look at them as a good time killer. So whatever, she’s crazy, I like it, whatever. But tonight her crazy was too far.
Maybe I shouldn’t really go into it all on here how I know, but it has come to my spidey senses that the woman is gay. (Basically, she screamed some inappropriate things earlier in the night that clued me in.) Ok, cool, so are some of my best friends. But she kinda took advantage of me. Like she was showing me how to do something and she totally, with both hands, reached around from behind me and padded my thighs way too close up to my “no no zone” while chuckling in my ear, “don’t tell your girlfriend I did that, she would get mad, ha ha ha…”
Kinda felt like Joey in that episode of “Friends” where the tailor reaches too far up his inseam and Chandler and Ross have to teach him that that’s wrong.
Now I’m kidding around about this cause its how I cope, but I am pretty upset about this and disturbed. Wouldn’t you be? What should I do? I’m thinking I will ignore it because I’m new to the job and I don’t want to make enemies or be thrust into drama. I think I am just going to have to be on guard and if she tries something again, I’m going to have to tell her to step the hell off me. And I’m just not going to be polite.
I mean, I dont even like it when a guy puts his hand on my back to move me to the side in a crowded bar, let alone having some crazy lady be all touching up on my thighs like that! Get the hell outta here, ya know?
And I think because I look young, people assume I’m a fool and they often try to intimidate me or take advantage of me. However, I may look the other way at first, but I am not one to take anyone’s shit for very long. And if this lady thinks she can screw with me, she’s sorely mistaken.
So that was my day. Lost a cat, late for work, and fondled. Thank god tomorrow is my day off!
My good friends Vanessa and Mike were a big part of making this movie called, “Handsome Zombies”. I finally got to see the trailer on YouTube and it looks awesome!!! Campy, fun, scary and smart! I can’t wait for it to come out on the interwebs! See for yourself:
This weekend was really awesome. Friends from home came and visited and it was so nice to see everyone!! They got here on Thursday, but I was at work starting my new job at the animal hospital, so I didn’t get to see them in right away. They came over and chilled with Coleen though at our apartment. I think a lot of time was spent watching the drama of “Balloon Boy” unfold.
Then I got out of work at 10pm and was able to meet up with everyone at Big Foot Lodge in Silver Lake. Which is this awesome bar, basically rockabilly, punk, and hipster types. It’s cool cos you can sit there at a table together, but can be hard to talk to everyone cos the music is so loud.
The next day we met everyone at Malibu and headed over to the Santa Monica pier to walk around. It was soooo nice there. The views of the beach and ocean from the boardwalk are just amazing.
After that we went to The Observatory at Griffith Park. 
Sooo pretty at night! You can see the whole city of LA from up there and the lights twinkling from all the buildings below is so cool. The only thing they need to do is to start lighting up the Hollywood sign! You can barely see it at night.
That night we went to La Cita for their punky reggae party. Love it! So much fun to dance there. Its kinda like going to Aldos or the Loop Lounge back in Jersey. Its not too big, not too small, perfect dance floor and great music.
Saturday night we went to Knott Scary Farms for their Halloween haunt. They have 13 haunted house to walk thru and whole theme park is haunted, so even if you are not in a house, you will get attacked by monsters walking thru the crowd. One of the ghouls in the crowd turned around and blatently farted on me. Good times.
We looooved it when we went last year, but this year it wasnt as scary. I dont know if its cos we went on a Saturday night and it was too crowded or what. Last year we went on a Sunday and there wasnt as many lines, there also seemed to be way more monsters lurking in the houses and on the street then too.
We also managed to watch Octo-mom get ambushed by monsters as she came off one of the roller coasters. A bunch of people noticed her on the ride, so they recruited monsters to scare her when she walked by. They scared the shit out of her and started chasing her and calling her name. It was awesome. For some odd reason, I been hoping to see Octo-mom, so now I can check that celeb off my list. (We also noted that she did not have any of her kids with her.)
So anyway, now its Monday and our friends are home safe. They flew out yesterday. I miss them already. I had to work Sunday, so I didn’t get to see them off. Damn new job has me working Saturdays and Sundays 2pm-12am. Crazy right? But its not like we will have visitors every week so I can deal with working weekends for now. It just stunk with having everyone here.
The new job is okay so far though. After my first day, I didn’t think I would like it. But now that I have been there a couple more days, I’m liking it better. I definitely miss Oradell a lot. This place is so different, but I am learning a lot of new stuff there so that’s cool. Everyone is pretty nice so far too, so that helps. The weird hours will probably be good for going back to school too.
Anyway, its 6:30 here and we’re starving so TTFN mothertruckerz…
Ugh, my right knee is killing me!! I don’t know why it’s hurting so much. I think it has to do with me starting to bike ride again, but I only rode a few times for like 10-15 minutes. I wonder if it has anything to do with driving cross country. I drove the whole way (though Coleen did offer numerous times to take over. I just got determined to do it myself) and so my leg would hurt from being tense for 8 hours a day driving. So I’m wondering if that could have something to do with how easily I got injured bike riding.
Anyone out there got any good remedies or exercises to help with the pain? Is there stretches I should do? Lately, I’ve been elevating it and taking ibuprofen. But its been a week now. Maybe I should just get it cut off and start over with a prosthetic leg. I’ve always had a strange fascination with prosthetic limbs anyway. (oh i hope i didnt just jinx myself). Probably there’s some sort of yoga I should be doing. Yoga seems to always be the answer to life’s big questions. Here’s a hypothetical example of a woman with a problem:
Woman A says: “My husband and I had a fight last week. One thing led to another and he tried to stab me with a pair of wire cutters. I think its affecting me still cause I just feel really tense all the time. What do you think I should do?”
Woman B says, “Maybe you should try yoga? Its a great stress reliever. Next time he comes at you with the wire cutters, you could suggest to him instead that you guys do it together.”
And doesnt that example sound totally reasonable? Yoga just makes sense. So maybe tonight I’ll pull out my Wii Fit and start yoga-ing myself.
So anyway, I went for training for my new pet sitting/dog walking job yesterday. Now I just have to wait for the company to offer me jobs, but that will probably be soon. Who knows, maybe I’ll be scooping up Kathy Griffin’s dog shit one day! That would be awesome! Although, I guess the pendulum could swing the other way and I might find myself at O.J. Simpson’s house!! Ugh. Really tho I have no clue who the clients are, I just hope the pets and people are nice and I do a great job for them. I’ve always wanted to try dog walking/sitting, so this could be a cool opportunity.
Also on Thursday I’m starting my full time job at an animal hospital in West Hollywood working in their emergency room. I’m nervous cause I’ve never worked in an ER before, but everyone there is very nice and they are willing to train people. I been talking to a friend about it who worked for a few years in emergency and she really loved it and thinks I’ll do fine so that is reassuring.
Coleen has an interview at Micheal’s art n crafts store tomorrow. I’m excited for her cause she looooves arts and crafts. If she gets it, it’ll be seasonal work I think, but it will be fun. Maybe she could eventually teach a class there. Who knows?
So that’s what’s going on around here as far as jobs go. As for fun stuff, well we are trying to conserve money until paychecks start coming in, but we did splurge and go see that movie “Paranormal Activity” the other night. I read a gazillion reviews before going about how it was THE SCARIEST MOST FRIGHTENING BONE CHILLING MOVIE EVER MADE, THE NEXT “EXORCIST”, THE NEXT “POLTERGEIST”, DONT SLEEP ALONE AFTER, etc etc etc… SO after reading all this, I was terrorfied BEFORE I even left the house to go see the movie!! Turns out, the movie was really not that scary at all. I mean, it was cool cause it was different, with that “Blair Witch” type feel, and there were many tense moments for sure, but it was not the fright fest I thought it was going to be. Plus the camera work being Blair Witchy was kinda nauseating at times.
I also thought the characters reactions were not very realistic. Like they were never scared enough for me. Especially the boyfriend. I dont want to get into it too much lest I ruin it for someone, but he was just so unbelievably blase’ about what he was seeing and experiencing that I couldnt buy it. I think also their lack of terror made me, as a viewer, feel less afraid. The girl in the movie would get scared, but they made her mostly act whiny and pleading than full on scared. Also the boyfriend’s lack of concern over her safety made me not care about what happened to him as a character, which also led to my lack of fear.
The story was different though. The ending was pretty awesome too and even tho I didnt leave the theater in soiled underpants there were some freaky moments that got me. Also the lack of gore was so refreshing. I love when a horror movie doesnt have to lean on outrageous gore to scare you.
So maybe I ruined it for myself by reading so many hyped up reviews before going. I mean being that it was pretty creative overall and did have scary moments, its probably worth checking out for yourself if you have a spare $12 for a ticket (and a spare $50 for popcorn, M&Ms, and soda).
My first post on my first blog. Well, I had one on Myspace, but I didn’t write on it that often.
So I guess, first things first, this is me:
Me and James Dean in Hollywood
Last month, Coleen and I moved to Los Angeles….Silver Lake to be exact. We are originally from Kearny, NJ. We always dreamed of moving here and have our various diary entries, where we scheme and dream of moving to LA, over the past decade to prove it.
In this past year we saved our pennies, work bonuses, tax returns, etc and gathered up our gumption and did it! We drove cross country with our 3 cats and 1 bunny to get here. Which was another dream of ours to do. Like countless other Jack Kerouac fans, once I read “On the Road” in high school I got the fever to be driving off into the sunset.
I’ll have to post up some pictures from our drive. I gotta say, the song is right, America, the Beautiful. I actually got some national pride beaming inside me from this trip. I had no idea just how beautiful our country is. And how vast and varied! Like we drove thru farmland, mountains, evergreen forests, deserts, cities, canyons…. crazy
But now we are in LA, in our new apartment, trying to get ourselves some jobs. We are going to volunteer for a local girls roller derby league. Hopefully, we can eventually learn how to skate and maybe try out to be on an actual team! For now we are just volunteer at events, cos without jobs we figure its probably not wise to be going out and buying roller skates and all that. We did score 2 nice bikes for $40 from a nice couple in Arcadia. Did you know they have wild peacocks just roaming around in that town?? I felt like I was in the safari at Great Adventure. Thank god it is peacocks and not ostriches tho. You know how they always have to have all these ostriches in drive thru safaris. But seriously, I hate those guys with their big eyes and pointy feet…
But I digress…so anyway, I guess I’ll catch you all up on things as I go along with this blog. I’m going to try and blog every day. Woah, on the news they just reported that a woman was attacked in a karaoki bar for bad singing. Like six people jumped her! I bet you that “Total Eclipse of the Heart” song was involved somehow…
